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Parshat Chayei Sara

By: Rav Michael Yammer

What is Yirat Shamayim? Twice in Parshat Vayerah we find "Yirat Elokim".  The first time is follwing the Akeida where Hashem tells Avraham "ata yadati ki yareh Elokim ata, vilo chasachta et bincha et yichidcha mimeni".  Following the Akaida, Hashem informs Avraham that He now recognizes that Avraham truly has fear of Hashem.  This is perplexing.  Weren't the first nine Nisyonot enough to prove to Hashem that Avraham feared Hashem?  The second time we find the usage of the term Yirat Elokim is when Avraham goes to Grar and tells Sarah to say that she is his sister.  This was necessary because if a married couple would go to Grar, the husband would be killed so that the wife could be taken for the king.  This practice is extremely barbaric.  When Avimelech asks Avraham why Sarah said that she was his sister, Avraham answered "rak ain yirat elokim bamakom haze," there is no fear of G-d in this place.

One would think that Avraham's problem with Grar would be a different one.  Perhaps we would think that there was no chessed or no mussar in Grar.  This would seem to be a more likely problem that would cause them to have a lacking in morality.  Why does Avraham insist that the problem in Grar is the absence of Yirat Hashem?

Rav Yosef Dov Soloveitchik was once asked to define Yirat Shamayim and he answered with a story. A non-Jewish woman, after having learnt and read many books about Judaism, decided to convert.   She came to this conclusion because she believed that Hashem created the world and she wanted to be closer to Him.  A few years after she converted, she met a non-religious Jewish man and inspired him to be chozer b'teshuva.  After some time the two decided to get married and before the wedding they went to the gravesite of his grandfather to daven, as is the custom.  Upon reaching the kever he noticed that there were two hands engraved on the tombstone and asked his kallah what these two hands represented.  She immediately responded that the wedding must be canceled as these two hands signify that the deceased was a Kohen and consequently, her betrothed was a Kohen as well.  A Kohen is not allowed to marry a convert.  This story, explained The Rav, is an example of Yirat Shamayim.  True Yirat Shamayim is shown by leaving all your emotions behind.  Even if one does not understand why a kohen can not marry a giyoret, there is the understanding that there is someone so much greater than you who guides your decisions.  Yirat Shamayim means to mivatel your own needs, thoughts and desires to the Torah and HaKadosh Baruch Hu.  Yirat Shamayim does not mean fear of punishment.  We need to do things because it is the emet, not because we are scared of the punishment. Yirat shamayim is not yirat haonesh but it is yirat haRommemut.

Avraham had a single goal and that was to bring everyone closer to Hashem. Avraham had a lot of sheep and cattle because it was necessary for him to be wealthy in order to have the ability to bring people into his house and be mekareiv them.   Every night before Avraham went to sleep he asked himself "how many more people now believe in Hashem because of me? How many more people now have seen the Emet of this world?"  He asked these questions of himself because he recognized his true Tafkid.

It was clear to Avraham that if he would kill Yitzchak he would be sacrificing his life accomplishment.   Avraham would be doing the opposite of what he had preached. Despite this Avraham did not question Hashem at all.  When it came to destroying S'dom, Avraham protested and argued with Hashem.  When it came to the Akeida, Avraham exercised his Yirat Shamayim and was mevatel his own understanding and desires to what Hashem wanted.  Certainly, the other nine Nisyonot portrayed Avraham's Yirat Shamayim.  This Nisayon was unique because it showed that even when Hashem tells us something that seems to contradict what we believe in, we must do it nonetheless and undo all of our life's accomplishments if it is Hashem's will.

When Avimelech asks Avraham why he told Sarah to lie, Avraham answered, "rak ki eyn yirat Elokim bamakom haze".  Rav Samson Rafael Hirsch explains that Avraham wanted to go to Grar specifically, because Yitzchak was about to be born and he felt that Grar was the best place to begin to raise his son because it had the best middot, the best mussar and the greatest examples of Derech Eretz.  Based on this, we can understand Avaraham's answer to Avimelech.  Avraham explains to Avimelech that although he has created an exceptional system of education, it is based upon Mussar Ha'adam and not Mussar Hashem.   When man, and not Hashem, is placed at the top of the Pyramid of values, the result will be that you kill a man to take his wife.   The language utilized by Avraham of "Rak", signifies that it is only this issue that makes Avimelech's society corrupt.  Had Avimelech had Yirat Elokim, had he put the will of Hashem before his own, this societal flaw would never have developed.

This level of Avodat Hashem, of true Yirat Elokim, is very difficult to attain particularly in the modern world.  In the primitive world man lived in a constant state of fear.  He realized that he was not perched atop the pyramid.  In the modern world, man feels that he controls the world, making it extremely difficult to appreciate that Hashem is really on top.

Rav Yitzchak Hutner explained the difference between leading a broad life as opposed to a double life.  He explained that one can lead a broad life in this modern world through having Yirat Shamayim and keeping Halachah.  The duty of Halachah is to bring Torah into our lives.  When you stop and think about the correct way to make tea on Shabbat in a halachikly appropriate way, you are living a broad life.  This takes the Torah out of the Bet Midrash and into our lives. That is Yirat Shamayim.  When one keeps Halacha she puts Hashem at the top of her pyramid.  When a person leads a life based on Halacha she will constantly ask herself what Hashem wants from her at each moment and will not find herself contradicting herself through her actions.  The Rav says that a person who has Ga'ava will never be able to become a Talmid Chacham because Talmud Torah requires a person to meet Hashem which is not possible for a ba'al ga'ava.  Only the person who understands that they are lacking can truly meet Hashem.  A person must understand that Hashem is greater than they are, and only then will they be able to be mevatel their ratzon to Hashem.  This is what Avraham did in akeidat Yitzchak but Avimelech did not do when he took the wives and killed the husbands.

There is a commonly asked question of why is Akeidat Yitzchak not named after Avraham?  Yitzchak's role was passive while Avraham's was active.  The Chatam Sofer explains that the real hero was Yitzchak because Avraham heard the commandment to sacrifice him straight from Hashem, whereas Yitzchak heard it from his father. Yitzchak could have questioned Avraham about the Akeida, but he understood that one of the necessary components of Yirat Shamayim is having Yirah of your parents.  Chazal call this Akeidat Yitzchak to symbolize the two necessary elements of Yirat Hashem: Hitbatlut before Hashem and parents.  Yitzchak could have said, "Father, perhaps you misunderstood Hashem's directive."  However, Yitzchak understood that in order to have Yirat Hashem you must first fear your parents. It is because of this that Chazal decided to call it Akedat Yitzchak to symbolize the two elements of true Yirat Shamayim, Hitbatlut before Hashem and Hitbatlut before Avraham, his father.

In this week's Parsha, Chaye Sarah, Avraham tells Ephron "ger vitoshav anochi imachem."  What does this mean? If you are Ger you are not a Toshav and if you are a Toshav you are not a Ger.  A Ger by definition is an outsider, while a Toshav is someone who lives in the place.  How can one be both at the same time?  Rashi explains that Avraham was saying that until now I was a Ger and when I buy this land I will become a Toshav.   The Midrash tells us that in this world we have to feel as if we are both a Ger and a Toshav.  We must realize that this world is merely a prozdor, a corridor, to the next world.  We have X amount of years to get to Olam Haba.  We need to do mitzvot and be mekadesh shem shamayim. We must be role models and examples of derech eretz and torah. But at the same time we need to feel like a Toshav.  We must do, create, and reach our full potential.  Only with this feeling of being both a Ger and Toshav, will we come to live a broad life of torah and not a double life.