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Parshat Toldot

By: SFW Students & Alumna
Hannah Wasserman, SFW ’04-‘05

(Thanks to Rav Yaakov Medan, VBM and Rav Moshe Feinstein's Darash Moshe)

"R. Nechunia taught in the name of R. Tanchum bar Yudan: Who caused Yaakov's honor to be withheld in this world? The great honor that Esav showed for his father. " (Pesikta Rabbati 23).

Many commentators raise the question of how Yitchak was blind to see the murderous and evil Esav that Rivka saw? How could Yitzchak want to bestow the greater bracha on Esav? A seemingly simple question is actually quite difficult to reconcile.

As the Lekach Tov explains, Yitzchak knew Esav was evil, but the fact that Esav showed kibud av made Yitzchak love Esav anyways. But was Esav's bringing food enough to merit him Yitchak's love and an eternal space in maarat hamachpela?

It must be that Esav showed an extraordinary level of kibud av!

 In this week's parsha, Esav says: "The days of mourning for my father will approach, and [afterwards] I will kill my brother Yaakov." (27:41)

Esav promises to suppress his anger and vengeance until after his father's death, a level that even the shvatim didn't reach. The brothers sold yosef and even held counsel against him, knowing it would break their father's heart. Reuven says, "How shall I go up to my father, while the boy is not with me - lest I see the anguish that will befall my father." (33:31). Clearly Esav's merit in this regard exceeds that of Bnei Yisrael.

However, upon reaching the age of forty, he marries wives and Rashi along with the midrashim, scorn Esav. They compare Esav to a pig that stretches forth its hooves as if to say, "See - I am kosher!" Esav is condemned as a hypocrite, who spent the first 39 years of his life involved in adultery, and now at the age of forty, imitates his father Yitchak. Yet, at the end of the section, Esav sees that the Canaanite women are evil in Yitzchak's eyes, so he takes a wife from among the Yishmaelite women. Again, Rashi and the midrash treat him with contempt: "'Because of his wives' - he added another evil deed onto his former evildoing," but Seforno praises him, because according to the text, here again Esav sought to honor his father.

Contrastingly, Rashi comments on the last posuk of the parsha, that Yaakov was punished for 22 of the 36 yrs he was away from his father. When Yosef was taken from Yaakov, Yaakov mourned for 22 yrs as a punishment, but the 14 yrs Yaakov spent studying in yeshivat shem veever, he wasn't punished for. Only the merit of Torah saved him from disobeying his parents.

Clearly Esav saved himself because of his Kibud Av, meriting to "withhold Yaakov's merit in this world". Esav's kibud Av was more than just making him food in his father's house. It is respect that he carried with him throughout his life, even as an adult. Meanwhile, Yaakov was only let off the hook for neglecting kibud av with the power of Torah. We should all take a lesson from Esav and put a little more energy in something we neglect to do daily, one of the mitzvoth that guarantee us a long life. However, we should simultaneously learn from Yaakov the power of Talmud Torah.

Shabbat Shalom.